Right-Click, Delete Contact

Gone.

The last remenant of 4 years of my life, deleted. A rather comp-sci way of ending something, but there it is. I finally deleted my Ex-Fiance’ from my MSN contact list.

She managed to pull the wool over my eyes, and break my heart more times than I care to imagine. Everytime she would pull me back with sweet promises. Everytime I would hope.

I know I chose to walk away, the final time. I know that I had to. I wanted to build a new life for myself, one where there was Trust, and Hope, and a sense of Togetherness.

It doesn’t stop the End from Hurting. I don’t think she ever understood that, or if she did, she never told me. Which, as you may have gathered, may have been the problem. Tonight I saw a message, and felt the hold pain flare up. Just a simple MSN tag line. The pain because I know she’s better off without me. Though that is also a two way street.

She could contact me again, I suppose, but I will not be contacting her, at least not for a while. I have lived a virtual hermit so as not to upset her. It turns out that she didn’t think twice of upsetting me, publically.

I think it is time to lock this door. To put it all away in a box, to wright on it “Memory Box, Ex-Fiance”, and to put it all away. Hopefully I can keep it locked. The pain will fade, as the future unfolds.

SK