Life is Full of Surprises

Okay…

So I think it’s sorted. I think that everythings done, closed. Neat. And then, 8:30 this morning, a phone call, from the Ex-Fiance. Telling me that she still misses me, and that she wants me back.

Say what? Pardon? Exqueese Me? Baking Powder?

Of course, she says in the same breath that her actions are going to hurt two other people (in this case, MRC, and her new BF). Did I jump the rails? Did I loose the plot? Am I living in a soap opera?

IT really did spin me for a loop. There I was, with everything that I wanted to hear, everything that I wanted her to say, and there it is, comming down the phone. MRC’s not back until 3:22, and I could just talk things through with her. Give her “another” chance. (Not that she hasn’t had a few already. Hell, when I write my memoires, this is going to be a hummdinger of a chapter). I stop. Bowled over. Confused.

Why, if it was so damn important, if she wanted me so damn much, didn’t she say so MONTHS ago? Why?

Okay, so I then got angry. But never at her. I never do that. There’s no point yelling, she’ll just get all teary-eyed. I’m terrible when women cry. So, I try to talk to her. Though I’m not sure what to say. I’m convinced it’s some sort of plot, perhaps some big bet, but I can hear the sobs, the soft sniffles, all very genuine and authentic.

So what do I say? I tell her that there is so much to talk about, that there is much that would need sorting and I don’t think that there’s a way of doing that before MRC gets back.

She ends with “You can call me at 1, I’m on lunch at 1”.

No doubt I will. I’m that kind of guy. I’m not liking this pain. The fact that here it is, here’s what I’ve been crying over, all there for me to take, and I think that I’m going to walk away. The moment I see MRC, all of this will be irrelevant. It’s mostly irrelevant now, but there’s a bit of me that wants to comfort the EF.

And why, after ages of keeping this kind of thing hidden, ahve I decided to put it here, for the public to see? Well, perhaps I’m sick of being painted the bad guy. Perhaps that it would be nice for those that know me to know what’s actually going on, to know that I’m not crazy.

Perhaps I just want a bit of sanity. I miss my friends. I always loose friends when I brake up with someone. I remove myself from the situation for their happiness. I’m not the kind of masochist that enjoys watching my ex with other people. I don’t just stop caring for them.

~SK