Meeting with the Diocesan Board

The Meeting actually happened on the 23rd of May

Running up to this meeting was not the easiest time. What with everything going on, I hardly had any time for preparation, though how you prepare for this, one of the biggest interviews on the Journey to the Church I don’t know.

I was lucky, I guess. I run a discussion group on Mondays, and they were kind enough to fire questions at me and give me their responses. They are mostly a secular group, which meant that their questions were a lot harder. They were trying to ensure that I was at least willing to work with my Parish, and Parishoners to find a happy balence. They still seemed to see the Vicar as a central part of the community with responsibilities for community leading. An interesting thing to learn from a (mostly) secular group.

As the day came, headed off with a good friend of mine. My car being without an MOT, and our other car having had it’s engine broken. I took with me a copy of a book entitled All in Good Faith by Edward H. Patey. I am very glad that this was the book that I took with me.

Sitting in the small area designated as a waiting room, I decided to read my book to fight my nerves. I’m glad I did. The book is about those that have doubts in their faith, and how this is normal and natural. Indeed, God would not have given us the ability to think if he did not mean for us to use it. He refers to this bumpy journey as an “Adventure of Faith”. It’s the best way I could think of to describe the way I felt towards my own journey.

It wasn’t long before the call came, and I was led in front of the board. I was more nervous than I have ever been. I was introduced to the people, One was going to ask Pastoral Questions, the other was going to as questions on my education, and the Arch Deacon (as we have no Bishop currently in this Dioces) was going to ask about my calling.

The questions were surprising. They were very searching, and the only real way to deal with them was to be as honest as possible. They wanted me to show Pastoral experience, ways that I have introduce people to groups, ways that I have been outside of my own social group and interacted with others. I was very surprised at the lack of experience of the kind of situations they were offering me I actually had. I guess there arn’t many of us that actually reach out our hands outside of our own social group.

I was asked what things I did to explore God, Jesus and my relationship therein, about my “Prayer Life”. A Prayer Life is not just the amount of time that you spend praying, but also how much time you spend listening, taking time to be, as my Vocational Guidance Counselor put it, being quiet with God, in order to hear his answers. I don’t have time to give as much as I feel I should, and I said so. I also said that I read books like Dawkins’ God Delusion in order to be able to find how I would answer his challenging questions.

There two questions that I remember starkly. Most of the Iterview was a blur of nerves. The Arch-Deacon asked me “How was I formed”, and “How did I know the presence was Jesus”.

The question “How was I formed” was so completely unexpected I wasn’t sure how to react. The Arch-Deacon said that I could think out loud, and I did, trying to see what it was that he was really asking, though without really giving him chance to answer. The answer, I remember, came to me. I had been formed this way, through the years of good and bad experiences, through the years of battle and questioning to reach this point, to reach this interview, to walk this path. I had been formed, I said, to do what I was not being called to do. That seemed to answer the question.

The question, “How did I know the presence was Jesus” also threw me. I tried very hard to hunt for an explanation, but in the end I had to admit defeat. “I wish that there was some fancy way, some sensible explanation to why I think that the person that walks with me is Jesus; There isn’t, I just know”. If there was ever an example of forced revelation this was it. It’s the thing that makes this whole business seem completely insane. I’ve always tried to be a logical person, despite the fact that I have this bizzare…. other sense that occasionally gets in the way. Normally, even then, I can explain things way through observing body language, or deductive reasoning. The thing I’d never really though about, was why it was I had decided to be Christian. I think however, that the answer “I just am” is the only one I can give. I can then justify it, but I don’t think I can truly explain it. I was called, and there is no real way to explain that feeling, that sense. If you have it, you’ll know.

After that, with me being a little shaken from my own personal revelation, they decided to follow it up with “What are your good points and bad points”, by this time, I figured that I’d managed to completely fluff the interview, with rambling at the beginning and not having enough experience with different social groups outside of my own. I told them that my worst point was my Arrogance. They jumped on that immediately, saying that it made things difficult, and arrogant people are difficult to talk too. I said that I was aware of my Arrogance, and that I was dealing with it. It was originally a protective shield from when I was bullied when I was younger. I then said that my best point was that I was a Social Chameleon. That is, I have an ability to fit in in what ever social situation I’m in. Most times I can find a way to get along with people, and talk with them. That seemed to smooth things over.

All to soon, or perhaps, not soon enough, the end of the hour came. This was my opportunity to ask any questions, and of course, as always happens when you are asked to ask questions, all your carefully-prepared ones vanish. I said that I would just like to thank them for going easy on me. This seemed to surprise people, apparently prospective ordinands don’t normally thank the panel. I can understand not thinking to do it at the time, what with nerves and the like, but not thanking them at all seemed a bit…. surprising. I think that my one tip would be to any prospective ordinand going through the same thing, is to remember to thank them.

We all shook hands, and I left them to deliberate.

Outside a wave of releif washed over me, making me feel mostly numb, and very hungry. My friend and I headed off to the local supermarket for something to eat. We eat and headed back to the car for some petrol before heading home. While we were heading to the Petrol station, the ‘phone rang. It was the Diocesan Director of Ordinands (DDO). This was the call.

I paused, took a deep breath and answered it.
“So, How do you think it went?” he asked.
“I don’t think it went very well. ” I answered. “I talked to much on the first few questions, and had a tendency to waffle. I was just…. ”
“Well, I don’t see how you thought you did so baddly, they have unanimously agreed to put you forward for the Provincal board.”.
I was stunned. I said “Well, thank you”. I was busy doing a small dance in my car seat, while trying to keep my voice pleased and measured, and not scream his ear off like the winner of some X-Vicar competition.
He then went on to tell me that apparently people don’t thank the board that often, or indeed at all. At least no-one this year had thanked them. I was surprised. The DDO acted as though the whole thing had simply been a matter of protocol, and was on to asking me for my 6 photos for the Provincial Application, and telling me what I needed to get done to prepare for it.

So, Stunned, but happy, I move forward to the Provincial Board.

Black Xanthus