A rough reflection on Term

So, term has started. I thought that I should put a few thoughts down so that over the year I have a marker, to show where I started, and where I was going too, or at least, where I think I’m going too.

Where to start? Last year, as acknowledge by the college as a whole was not good for the community. There were a few issues that caused…. tension between us all. During the second half of last year we were getting over that, begining to heal the wounds. Interestingly, the past three days we seem to be making great progress. Some people have been talking about the bad times of last year, it appears that we’re offloading, rather than trying to scare the first years. Hopefully this “sharing” will actually enable us to move forward. To leave the past where it belongs, and to move forward.

Tomorrow I take the welsh morning prayer, which means a sleepless night. Last year there was the generall feeling that it was not a safe environment to lead services, that someone would say things, would laugh, would point, would… well, you get the idea. That idea is still in my head, still floating around in there, though I think it is less true than it was last term. It’s not that I don’t think I can do it. I can talk confidently in front of people, and I have lead morning prayer for a (small) group of influenctial people while on various types of placement. It’s just leading it here. I have to do it, and I’m well prepared. The Intercessions are written, I’ve read through the service, my cassock and books are by the front door. Everything all where it should be. I’m just nervous. Apparently you never stop being nervous, but hopefully it will stop starting the night before….

The community has changed. There are new people, and I think perhaps new problems. There have been some issues with people and money from a certain place, but with a bit of luck those will be rectified soon. There are people that I can see myself getting along with, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone that I will strongly connect with like I did last year. This, I suppose, is a good thing. I have less time to spend in community now that my wife has moved down, so a few small friendships that allow me to discuss theology, and form simply bonds that (might) last a life time seems to be the way forward.

All in all, however, I think I feel more posetive than I did last year, and definately more possitive than I would have thought possible last year. The college has worked hard to achieve this, they’ve started “diversity training”. Though we were sceptical at first, and the actuall value of the stuff we are learning are questionable, the way that we, as a community, bonded today was actually well worth it. It was fantastic. Oddly, the thing that seemed to have gone down well was the time of “spontaneous prayer” at the end of the session. Though not (technically) my tradition, there was something about the way that we all… raised our hearts together that was magical (yes, I know that Christians object to me using this word, but the English language doesn’t furnish me with one that fits.).

So, here it is. My first reflection. A place to start. Lets see what the year brings.

~B.X